I Loved Time Magazine, I Really Did

I mean I started reading my parents' copy when I was 9 years old and I learned about the world. I didn't just read the entertainment stuff, I read about Africa and Washington, D.C., and book reviews.
But I let the newly resubscribed thing lapse after Richard Stengel and Jay Carney blew off the Attorney General scandal, never really eating their words when the whole thing got shoved down their throats by that Cheetos-eating, basement dwelling Josh Marshall and the crew at TPM.
Then what do they do? They go and hire Mr. Smirky, perhaps the biggest shill pundit in the business. Of course, it's a small business. And he has a small penis. There, I said it Mark Halperin, small penis. I have X-ray vision.

Now, this love poem from a parallel universe to Sarah Palin.
Wait, I get it, Time Magazine has a death wish.
Quick, call Crisis Line. No, wait. Let it go.