Oscars! Gowns...liveblog (as if you care)

polished boobs, etc.

4:42 p.m. Okay, so the worst dress of the evening so far is sadly worn by Daniel Day Lewis' wife Rebecca Miller, daughter of playrite (damn spellcheck!) Arthur Miller.
It was black with some sort of black velvet flowers streaming down the middle and...wait for it...wait for it...red velvet bows as straps! Omigod, I missed the matching piping on his tux, and the shoes, both of them.
Oh wait, no, there's Tilda Swinton wearing something like a black robe from Hogwarts. I also happen to know that she lives with a very interesting older m
an, the father of her children, and has a much younger lover, French I think. Good on, Tilda.
Speaking of really bad gowns, I don't suppose Aretha's coming. Okay, she does it on purpose, but what can the purpose be? Aretha wants my eyes to hurt?


Trivia ? What ever happened to Helen Hunt. A. She's directing.

5:47 George Clooney, mmmm. Where's Brad? Where's Leo? Where's Matt? Oh, that's right, he's in bed with Sara Silverman.
Jon was funny, but not as good as Billy Crystal.

5:55 Okay, I didn't like Ratatouille all that much but I like ratatouille and know how to make it. But the acceptance was good.

Guess I have to see the Piaf movie after all.

(One hour until 60 Minutes, what will I do?)

Songs. Is Enchanted on your Netflix list yet? Is Amy Adams the new Julie Andrews?
(Is bitch the new black?)

Visual Effects, The Rock, blah blah.

Note: A lot of the audience celebrities are caught chewing gum or something, including Daniel. Will he get rid of it before he accepts?

Art, Set: There Will Be Blood? No, Sweeney Todd. Haven't seen either. Blanchett is pretty preggers. Depp's wife has one of those charming gaps between her front teeth.

Supporting Actor. Javier? Hal? Presenter Jennifer Hudson from last year's Dream Girls. When Eddie didn't win, he walked out in a huff. Okay, I just think that anything Phillip Seymour does is Oscar worthy, and I haven't seen Charlie Wilson's War yet. Okay, I like Tom Wilkinson, too and I haven't seen that either. God, I haven't seen much.
Javier, of course, he brought his mother. What did he say. How dare he speak in Spanish. Immigration reform. Get that fence up.
6:23
Supporting actress, Alan Arkin, mmmm Wait Until Dark.
Cate, I want Cate. Amy Ryan. Tilda. All Good, Ruby, yea.
Tilda. Wow. She didn't expect to win. And she's still in that Black. Robe.
She's great, actually.

6:44 I don't know who Jessica Alba is. She's wearing something in eggplant. Technical awards. Is it time for 60 Minutes?

The Coen brothers, adapted screenplay. Really weird guys. Fargo, mmm.
Is it time for 60 Minutes?

Worst Production Number of the Century. This Oscar nominated song by Chenowith in some grey, fashiony thing with a Rasta man. This girl has no rhythm. Stewart has got to be laughing.
Lead actress coming up and 60 Minutes is looming. What will I do. Surf.

(Time out for 60 Minutes. Devastating piece on politically motivated prosecution of former Democratic Governor of Alabama Don Siegalman, Karl Rove behind it.)

Song, the "Once" couple. Dublin, mmmm.

Another stupid song from Enchanted, Travolta looks like his hair has been painted on, yeah, Once couple takes it. (Male of couple, Glen Hansard was in The Commitments, one of the few movies I actually own.

"Make art, make art," he says. Shot it in three weeks for $100,000 with handicams.

Screenplay--Diablo Cody for Juno, the only former phone sex worker
among the nominees. She not only invented herself and her story, but her name. Cool, real tears.

It's Daniel, everybody knew it would be. He's not chewing gum. How come his tux had red piping in the still, but not live? I forgot to look at his shoes. He was w

earing desert boots before.
Denzel is shaving his head and has grown a beard.
Good night.
In Memoriam: Kinda sad, all those old people and last, Heath Ledger.