The Bureau of Labor Statistics monthly Job Openings and Labor Turnover Survey (JOLTS) report was released Tuesday, and it lived up to its acronym. In March, the number of job openings decreased by another 256,000. That made for a total of 2.7 million job openings. In December 2007, when the recession began, there were 4.4 million openings. With 13.2 million Americans officially out of work, that means there are now 4.8 unemployed people for every available job.And more cheerful analysis here.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Hang On To Your Job
As if I needed to tell you.
Labels:
Econ
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Do Girls Dig the New Star Trek Movie
Two "girls" on Contrarienne's Facebook list loved it, so I'd say it's a yes. One of them is a sheriff's officer, another a military wife stay-at-home with three kids.
Anyway, that's the lead story at Slate's new blog for women advertised as having a feminist sensibility and an alternative to the glossy, celebrity driven "women's magazines."
So I'm bookmarking it for daily scan to see if they're going to give some good material.
Anyway, that's the lead story at Slate's new blog for women advertised as having a feminist sensibility and an alternative to the glossy, celebrity driven "women's magazines."
So I'm bookmarking it for daily scan to see if they're going to give some good material.
Labels:
Blogs
What I Want To Be Buried In
Labels:
Cher,
Women Worth Noting
National Nurses Week
And in honor of Florence Nightengale's birthday, they get themselves arrested at Max Baucus' health care hearing, again. Because, again, no single payer advocate allowed to tesify.
Labels:
Health Care
Headline 'O Teh Day
Liz Cheney Claims Dad Speaking Out on Torture Waterboarding Like Al Gore Does With Global Warming
'Cuz Al ordered climate change, and now he's got a lot to explain. Wait, no, that can't be it.
I did not, did not, spit my coffee onto the keyboard.
Thought: Cheney circling wagons. Big time.
Prediction: Prosecutors up on the ridge, loading up.
'Cuz Al ordered climate change, and now he's got a lot to explain. Wait, no, that can't be it.
I did not, did not, spit my coffee onto the keyboard.
Thought: Cheney circling wagons. Big time.
Prediction: Prosecutors up on the ridge, loading up.
Labels:
Torture
Monday, May 11, 2009
A Little Cheese With Your Whine?
Louis CK, a guy I kind of like, but this is hilarious.
Quote O' Teh Day
I love Wanda Sykes, but the correspondents dinner bit was pretty lame. I mean, who doesn't wish Rush Limbaugh would die of kidney disease?
So just before she went on, she was herself for Extra:
So just before she went on, she was herself for Extra:
"They told me not so say the F word or the N word... I'm offended they even told me that," Sykes told "Extra" moments before taking the stage. "What do they think? I'm some ignorant a**. Like I'm going to go in there, 'What's up n*****. Like what the f*** they think I'm going to do?"You can find the real Wanda all over YouTube. Me, I've got bills to pay today.
Labels:
Wanda Sykes,
Women Worth Noting
Excess Capacity
Automakers, homebuilders. It's all good.
And in related news closer to home, right next door in fact:
Screen acknowledged he is in default on his loans to the tune of $5.7 million. The properties involved are 159 undeveloped lots and his par-72 golf course, which is for sale.
The course and the 159 lots will go to auction Aug. 14 if he can't come up with the money. Screen said he's "cautiously optimistic" he can avoid foreclosure on the course, which will remain open for the foreseeable future.
And in related news closer to home, right next door in fact:
Kingston's White Horse Development in Foreclosure
White Horse owner and developer Bob Screen said Friday his bank is pursuing foreclosure on a portion of his White Horse development in Kingston.Screen acknowledged he is in default on his loans to the tune of $5.7 million. The properties involved are 159 undeveloped lots and his par-72 golf course, which is for sale.
The course and the 159 lots will go to auction Aug. 14 if he can't come up with the money. Screen said he's "cautiously optimistic" he can avoid foreclosure on the course, which will remain open for the foreseeable future.
Labels:
Econ
Don't Need Me? Don't Need ME?! WTF?
Thanks, Taplin. Krugman, I can understand, but me? ME?!
Maybe we don’t need four hundred channels of TV. Maybe we don’t need 346 million blogs. Maybe the careful (and expensive) editing of the New York Times and The New Yorker actually count for something.
Only time will tell.
Labels:
Blogging
Yawn, Breaking
Another unplanned all-nighter and so let me be one of the first to tell you that Iran is releasing the jailed American journalist Roxana Saberi and Mr. Mustard will today tell us about a big new health care plan that saves $2 trillion over 10 years and, apparently, the big players are all happy to support it or face the consequences.
What, you were expecting something on Pakistan, too?
'Night.
What, you were expecting something on Pakistan, too?
'Night.
Labels:
News
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Dept. of Good TV: PBS Owns Sunday Night Now
Contrarienne doesn't do reviews (cuz it's a blog) but Wallander was about the best TV she's seen in a long time. Yeah, Friday Night Lights is great, and so is most of the top HBO stuff, but Wallander is in another category.
For one thing, you won't see photography this good on any other television program. It's film quality. Not movie quality, film quality. Every frame is a masterpiece.
And then there's Kenneth Branagh in the lead role of the darkly agonized Swedish detective. Perfect.
Supporting cast is, as always from BBC-originated stuff, right on, especially David Warner as Wallander's artist father, slowly and resentfully descending into Alzheimer's.
Watch online here.
Plus, tonight PBS gave me a documentary on the most famous woman of color presidential candidate you've never heard of, Hawaii's feisty Patsy Mink.
Good stuff all around.
For one thing, you won't see photography this good on any other television program. It's film quality. Not movie quality, film quality. Every frame is a masterpiece.
And then there's Kenneth Branagh in the lead role of the darkly agonized Swedish detective. Perfect.
Supporting cast is, as always from BBC-originated stuff, right on, especially David Warner as Wallander's artist father, slowly and resentfully descending into Alzheimer's.
Watch online here.
Plus, tonight PBS gave me a documentary on the most famous woman of color presidential candidate you've never heard of, Hawaii's feisty Patsy Mink.
Good stuff all around.
Labels:
Good TV,
Patsy Mink,
Women Worth Noting
Stand By Me Around the World
When Adele B. sends something, it's worth sharing. No embed, though.
Labels:
Music,
World Peas
Sartorial Port Townsend, Mother's Day Edition
I've always thought I could do what the Sartorialist does right here on the streets of PT.
Today I got my chance. See what you think. Okay, not exactly what the Sartorialist does. Just sayin'.


Today I got my chance. See what you think. Okay, not exactly what the Sartorialist does. Just sayin'.
Roger Horner, Chimacum, WA, fresh from services at the Irondale Evangelical Church.
Craig, Savannah and Widget. I lost their card, don't have last name.

Alice Fox and son David.
The latest accessory.
The latest accessory.
Sunny Swasey, Olympia, and Loren Hogan, Gig Harbor.
Gary Isaacson with Simon & Garfunkel, holding Zha Zha all from Coeur d'Alene. Notice that Gary's shirt matches his accessories.
P. S. Click to enlarge picture.
Labels:
My Photos,
Sartorial PT
TV Hed Alert
I rely on David Bianculi to tell me when something's worth watching. Often, it's something I don't get or am uninterested in (Celebrity Apprentice? Heh) but at least there's some guidance.
Today, he recommends Wallander, starring my favorite out-of-favor British actor, Kenneth Branaugh. Just an FYI.
Today, he recommends Wallander, starring my favorite out-of-favor British actor, Kenneth Branaugh. Just an FYI.
Sarandon And Clarkson, Together Again!
My two favorite mothers, and SNL's, too. Yeah, they went there.
But I didn't stay up for it.
UPDATE: OOPS, I the post below belongs as an update to the POST BELOW! However, I am too lazy to do it all over again because it takes all of five minutes.
Jason Linkins asks the Question O' Teh Day:
But I didn't stay up for it.
UPDATE: OOPS, I the post below belongs as an update to the POST BELOW! However, I am too lazy to do it all over again because it takes all of five minutes.
Jason Linkins asks the Question O' Teh Day:
Why is Gingrich always on teevee on Sundays, talking about his awesome conversion to Catholicism? MAYBE GO TO MASS, IDEA BOY?I think Huffpo chose these guys because they're all over Sunday talking heads shows today. For more of Linkins' always entertaining take (he watches so you don't have to), go here.
Labels:
SNL,
Women Worth Noting
Headline O' Teh Day
New Faces of the GOP
Huffpo lead with this today and it made me laugh out loud. They chose neutral shots. However, Contrarienne is under no obligation to appear fair. In some circles, GOP is defined as the Grumpy Old Party.
Labels:
GOP
He Does Humor, Too
On "the ten-day anniversary of my first 100 days in office."
Labels:
Barack Obama
Saturday, May 9, 2009
SNL Alert
There's usually no good reason to watch anymore. It's past my bedtime (heh-I stayed up all night last night, but still) because the primaries are over and there are only so many Obama/Biden moments worth seeing satirized. But tonight it's going to be the Mr. Mustard moment, no doubt, maybe the correspondents' dinner, which I guess CSpan may try to tempt me with.
Even all that wouldn't get me to tune in, because Huffpo almost always puts up clips the next day.
But tonight Justin Timberlake is hosting. Next to The Rock, Alec Baldwin and Christopher Walken, he's the top, and those guys always put on a good show. Timberlake's one of those entertainers that gives old cranks like myself hope for the younger generation.
I think the writers and cast try harder with these people, probably because they're inspired by talent.
Even all that wouldn't get me to tune in, because Huffpo almost always puts up clips the next day.
But tonight Justin Timberlake is hosting. Next to The Rock, Alec Baldwin and Christopher Walken, he's the top, and those guys always put on a good show. Timberlake's one of those entertainers that gives old cranks like myself hope for the younger generation.
I think the writers and cast try harder with these people, probably because they're inspired by talent.
Labels:
SNL
Single Payer Health Reform
I don't know much, but I know what I like. And frankly, I don't think single-payer has a chance in hell this year, and this year is going to see some sort of health care reform.
Nevertheless, we can't just sit here and shake our heads.
The blogs are all aflame over Montana Sen. Max Baucus' decision to exclude any single payer advocates from his hearing last week and, when they protested, had them thrown out. These aren't the pinkies, they were health professionals there to make a point.
You can register your disapproval of Baucus, and his documented ownership by Big Pharma and other big campaign donors, by calling or faxing his office.
I personally believe a fax works better, and you can FAX for free right from your computer. Yeah, that thing in front of your face as we speak.
Just tell them you want single-payer advocates included in the hearings. Next one is May 12, Tuesday.
Nevertheless, we can't just sit here and shake our heads.
The blogs are all aflame over Montana Sen. Max Baucus' decision to exclude any single payer advocates from his hearing last week and, when they protested, had them thrown out. These aren't the pinkies, they were health professionals there to make a point.
You can register your disapproval of Baucus, and his documented ownership by Big Pharma and other big campaign donors, by calling or faxing his office.
I personally believe a fax works better, and you can FAX for free right from your computer. Yeah, that thing in front of your face as we speak.
Just tell them you want single-payer advocates included in the hearings. Next one is May 12, Tuesday.
Washington D.C.
511 Hart Senate Office Bldg.
Washington, D.C. 20510
(202) 224-2651(Office)
(202) 224-9412 (Fax)
Labels:
Health Care
Friday, May 8, 2009
By The Numbers
Um, about those unemployment numbers, the ones they're bombarding you with today.
(NPR inviting "analysts" to opine about how this may be "better.")
BTW, it's "journalists" who do this digging. Sure, there may be bloggers out there saying the same thing, but they don't carry the weight, or the audience.
Down off the soapbox now.
(NPR inviting "analysts" to opine about how this may be "better.")
The problem with this methodology is that it does not include millions of Americans who are not working full-time who ought to be. Those, in the bureau's words, who are "marginally attached to the labor force."
Those numbered an additional 2.1 million Americans in the first quarter of this year, the bureau said. Alarmingly, that number was up 35 percent from the first quarter of 2008.
Of this number, the bureau categorized 717,000 as "discouraged" workers, or those that have simply given up looking for work for any number of reasons. That number was up 70 percent from the first quarter of 2008.
BTW, it's "journalists" who do this digging. Sure, there may be bloggers out there saying the same thing, but they don't carry the weight, or the audience.
Down off the soapbox now.
Labels:
Econ
UPDATES
Hamburgers without ketchup are as American as, um, oh, you know, that state where the governor wants to secede. I'm goin' with Mr. Mustard from here on out.
Oh, and Pelosi said "no, I diiin't," but nobody — least of all Andrew Sullivan — listens because she doesn't tweet.
Oh, and Pelosi said "no, I diiin't," but nobody — least of all Andrew Sullivan — listens because she doesn't tweet.
Labels:
Mr. Mustard
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Kabuki, I Tells Ya, Kabuki
The politics of D.C. is not the obvious, but the not so obvious.
First there was a leak, an apparent attempt to smear Jane Harman with an alleged wiretap of an Israeli agent lobbying her to intervene in a prosecution. Fingers pointing at disgraced former CIA guy Porter Goss, who had a grudge or something.
Now, ABC is out with a leaked memo implicating Nancy Pelosi as being in the loop on torture.
Andrew Sullivan buys in completely, ignoring the caveat. He's been saying she was in on it for weeks, but I never saw a citation.
Today, he doesn't mention this:
First there was a leak, an apparent attempt to smear Jane Harman with an alleged wiretap of an Israeli agent lobbying her to intervene in a prosecution. Fingers pointing at disgraced former CIA guy Porter Goss, who had a grudge or something.
Now, ABC is out with a leaked memo implicating Nancy Pelosi as being in the loop on torture.
Andrew Sullivan buys in completely, ignoring the caveat. He's been saying she was in on it for weeks, but I never saw a citation.
Today, he doesn't mention this:
and notes that summarized the best recollections of those individuals. In the end, you and the Committee will have to determine whether this information is an accurate summary of what actually happened.
Do I think Nancy knew and didn't speak out against it? I don't know. Neither does ABC, nor Andrew Sullivan. News at 11.
Labels:
Nancy Pelosi,
Torture
R.I.P. Marilyn French

I never read Friedan, or Steinem or deBouvior (sp? wrong, I know, this is a blog) but I did read The Women's Room and internalized it along with Confessions of a High School Prom Queen and Fear of Flying.
In fact, I made my teenage daughter read a chapter from one of her books and synopsize it for me as punishment for something or other unrelated to feminism.
Now, fair warning, the following quote is harsh. We don't talk this way anymore. Why not, I'm not sure. Cuz we have to fit in, even with ourselves I guess.
But I've never forgotten it. Nor, disagreed with it.
She was called anti-male after a character in the novel says: "All men are rapists, and that's all they are. They rape us with their eyes, their laws, and their codes."
"Those words came from a character, and she was not a man-hater, and never said that in her personal life," Jenkins said. "But she wanted men to accept their part in the domination of women."
I did read Brownmiller and lots of others, in my own defense. Literally, my own defense.
Here's the NYT on French.
Labels:
Marilyn French,
Women Worth Noting
Not On My Tombstone
For Journophiles Only Dept.
The eminent Walter Pincus — "grizzled yet spry" — tells us what's wrong. I think David Simon has been sitting at his knee. For those of you looking for someone to deflate Pincus' right-on analysis, read down in comments to "young" Bill Dedman's take. Then a little further to learn that "computer assisted" guru Dedman needs to go back to his calculator. I'm betting Dedman's put all his eggs in the Internet basket and it's not paying off, is it?
Where's all that advertising money go now, anyway?
Somebody answer that one.
The eminent Walter Pincus — "grizzled yet spry" — tells us what's wrong. I think David Simon has been sitting at his knee. For those of you looking for someone to deflate Pincus' right-on analysis, read down in comments to "young" Bill Dedman's take. Then a little further to learn that "computer assisted" guru Dedman needs to go back to his calculator. I'm betting Dedman's put all his eggs in the Internet basket and it's not paying off, is it?
Where's all that advertising money go now, anyway?
Somebody answer that one.
Labels:
Journalism
Mr. Spicy Mustard

Look, I really, really like Obama. But this is politics, folks, and it's dirtaaay, dirty I say. We all know that even though we like to be fooled into believing we don't have to worry, don't have to be vigilant any longer because the good guys are in charge now.
And much as I hate the major media (Sean Hannity yesterday made fun of Obama for asking for mustard on his burger and that's news today because, basically, there isn't any) even my gods let me down.
Today some NPR reporter was obviously just phoning it in on her report of singe-payer advocates protesting at in-the-pocket-of-insurance-companies Max Baucus' health care hearings.
Similarly, nowhere in Talking Points Memo's brief update that Rove will testify next month does it mention that he's protected to the gills. So don't get too excited as the date draws near because you will hear...crickets.
It was only in the comments section that I learned Rove will be behind closed doors, not under oath and all kinds of other caveats so you know nothing will come of the AG firing scandal. At least not yet. It's not only dirty, it's Kabuki.
In the meantime, another "citizen journalist" tells me more than I wanted to know about South Carolina lion Jim Clyburn's daughter. South Carolina. South Carolina. Chew on it.
I love Clyburn, I really do. I will never forget the TV interview in which he asked a few years back if Obama might be the first black president. "Well, maybe not the first," he joked.
(What was he thinking, Jesse Jackson, Jr.? Nah, he was just fucking with 'em.)
Anyway, the FCC seems to have a deliberately designated spot for adult children of people to whom political debt is owed. Think former chair Michael Powell. Yeah, that Powell.
Anyway, along comes Mignon Clyburn, in all her glory.
This is just a blog, but I will caution you that net neutrality is a very big deal that anyone who uses the intertubes needs to be aware of. I'll leave it to you to Google it.
Labels:
New Media,
Politics,
Women Worth Noting
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Quote O' Teh Day
It's not fair to quote people out of context, but Contrarienne has never promised to be fair. Even if she had, she would have been lying.
Anyway, up pops the email awhile back and I am transported to another planet or plane of existence or something because it's as if it's written in Greek.
Here it is:
But no, it's actually Mardie telling me how to deal with Shorty's personality under restriction, which I actually wrote about more than a day ago and have completely forgotten.
Or maybe it's because I just finished watching Lost, which is as undeciferable as ever and therefore very enjoyable.
Thanks, Mardie.
Anyway, up pops the email awhile back and I am transported to another planet or plane of existence or something because it's as if it's written in Greek.
Here it is:
Have you tried the frozen kong treat? Stuff it with canned pumpkin and freeze it. Yummy goodness that takes some time to lick clean. For a special one, use a pupperoni like a little fuse in the small end of the kong - intermittant reinforcement keeps Bella occupied for a long time.Blogspot people get copies of all comments via email, so just sit back and consider what you would have thought. Another plane of existence, right? I mean, frozen pumpkin? Kong treat? Pupperoni like a little fuse? At first, I thought it was some intertube porn sent to me by mistake.
But no, it's actually Mardie telling me how to deal with Shorty's personality under restriction, which I actually wrote about more than a day ago and have completely forgotten.
Or maybe it's because I just finished watching Lost, which is as undeciferable as ever and therefore very enjoyable.
Thanks, Mardie.
Labels:
Blogging
Desi at Don's
The lunch counter at Don's Pharmacy in Port Townsend, WA, is one of the last of its type. I can get a chocolate malt there made the old-fashioned was with real malt powder and spun in one of those old green mixers. And the cook actually makes her own soup and stuff.
But there's no guarantee Desiree will be there.
I took more and better pictures of her with her parents' permission, but my camera is being weird. I think it's the batteries.
Labels:
Port Townsend,
WA
Gens X And Y Opting Out On Organized Religion
What Andrew Sullivan calls the Christianists seem to have screwed themselves.
Yesterday I listened carefully to Michael Chabon's wife describe to Terri Gross in detail her agonized choice to abort a wanted child (would have been No.3) after learning the high risk of severe damage, and her account of her first abortion as a young woman who basically saw no other choice.
To the Christianists, she is a murderer.
Gens X and Y don't see it that way. Neither do they regard same-sex marriage as a direct threat to their way of life. And their racial sensibilities are definitely not Nixonland.
And then, there's always this:
Historically, the percentage of Americans who said they had no religious affiliation (pollsters refer to this group as the "nones") has been very small -- hovering between 5 percent and 10 percent. However, Putnam says the percentage of "nones" has now skyrocketed to between 30 percent and 40 percent among younger Americans.
Yesterday I listened carefully to Michael Chabon's wife describe to Terri Gross in detail her agonized choice to abort a wanted child (would have been No.3) after learning the high risk of severe damage, and her account of her first abortion as a young woman who basically saw no other choice.
To the Christianists, she is a murderer.
Gens X and Y don't see it that way. Neither do they regard same-sex marriage as a direct threat to their way of life. And their racial sensibilities are definitely not Nixonland.
And then, there's always this:
Labels:
Christianists,
Religion
POTUSburgers: Day II
I do this because I can. Dopamine and opioids, mmm. Thanks, YouTube.
Biden had Swiss cheese and...wait for it...jalapeno PEPPERS!
Obama, ever the pragmatist, took a plain cheddar burger, lettuce and tomato. But spicy mustard.
UPDATE: Krugman and Stiglitz got roast beef prepared by White House chefs. Mmmm, I loves me some dopamine and opioids.
Biden had Swiss cheese and...wait for it...jalapeno PEPPERS!
Obama, ever the pragmatist, took a plain cheddar burger, lettuce and tomato. But spicy mustard.
UPDATE: Krugman and Stiglitz got roast beef prepared by White House chefs. Mmmm, I loves me some dopamine and opioids.
Labels:
Presidential Trivia
Foodie Alert: Dopamine And Opioids, Mmmm
Yeah, your mom put sugar in the peas to get you to eat them. And butter. Stuff not available to our ancestors in caves.
So how do we control this brain chemistry? Read the book, I guess.
So how do we control this brain chemistry? Read the book, I guess.
You have to take the power out of the food by changing how you view the stimulus. It's food rehab. It's new learning on top of old learning—you never get rid of that old learning, those old neural circuits.Never? Wait a minute.
Fingerpointing 101: Top 25 Sub Prime Culprits
Center for Public Integrity, taking journalism where it's supposed to go.
Money quote:
Money quote:
The banks that funded the subprime industry were not victims of an unforeseen financial collapse, as they have sometimes portrayed themselves, but enablers that bankrolled the type of lending threatening the financial system...U.S. and European banks poured huge sums into the subprime lending market due to unceasing demand for high-yield, high-risk bonds backed by home mortgages...Oh, and 21 of them are out of business while we bail out their sugar daddies.
Labels:
Econ
Headline O' Teh Day
Afghanistan's Only Known Pig Quaranteed
Afghanistan's only known pig has been locked in a room, away from visitors to Kabul zoo where it normally grazes beside deer and goats, because people are worried it could infect them with the virus popularly known as swine flu.
Labels:
Flu
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Mystery Mormon Baptizes Obama Mom
A sincere act of charity, no doubt.
The LDS officially looks down on the practice, and have no idea how this could have happened. Unlike the Proposition 8 matter.
The LDS officially looks down on the practice, and have no idea how this could have happened. Unlike the Proposition 8 matter.
At the same time that Barack Obama sealed the Democratic nomination for president last year, someone in the Provo LDS Church temple was performing a baptism and temple rites for his dead mother.
The move is a serious breach of protocol for church members, who in the past have been criticized for performing such proxy baptisms for victims of the Holocaust.
Labels:
Barack Obama,
Mormons,
Religion
Genius, Pure Genius
After reviewing Talking Points Memo's readers casting for the Jack Abramoff movie, I'm wishing for a mini-series instead. We already know Kevin Spacy will do Jack, but Chris Conner as Tom DeLay? And, and, and John Goodman and Laura Linney and, and, Aaron Ekhart...I'm breathless. A mere movie couldn't do justice to this cast — or this plot. My fave, Phillip Seymour H. as Grover Norquist.
They call it the Dream Team. Heh.
They call it the Dream Team. Heh.
Honorary Contrarienne
How could I have forgotten Eurotrash after discovering her last year? And why isn't she on one of the blogrolls?
Because she hardly ever writes, that's why. But when she does, I hide in shame.
Sample:
The board — me — has met and unanimously approved.
Any nominations for similar positions will be gladly considered. Just remember, they must match Eurotrash's (punc?) class.
BTW, smashing recipe, too.
Because she hardly ever writes, that's why. But when she does, I hide in shame.
Sample:
...and I couldn't find anyone to give me a lift and I was going to be terribly late, and I was very stressed out, so I stole a bicycle. But at least all my teeth didn't drop out, which is usually what happens at the end of my stress dreams.Anyway, the president of Contrarienne — me — has nominated her for her wit, wisdom and anger.
The board — me — has met and unanimously approved.
Any nominations for similar positions will be gladly considered. Just remember, they must match Eurotrash's (punc?) class.
BTW, smashing recipe, too.
Labels:
Blogging,
Women Worth Noting
About This New Media Thingie
Contrarienne was absolutely flabbergasted to get 186 hits in one day after posting the vulva dress a few weeks ago.
But today has its own sweetness.
Of course, thanks to Stumbledupon, the vulva fans are still out there and trickling in.
But today we're also
hearing from Italy because of sculptor Kelly Bersheim's stunning photo of Santa Croce (and from Kelly herself, that lucky American living and working in Florence) and some of Mardie's Twitter buddies responding to her tweet about our posting of NPR's Mom Music. Most surprising are the people coming from viralvideos because apparently the video of American troops in Afghanistan plotting to pass out Bibles in direct contradiction of military policy against evangelizing is hitting the charts.
Contrarienne learned about it from Huffington Post and has since seen a headline referencing a Pentagon claim that the Bibles, produced in Afghani languages, were confiscated.
And it's only 6:21 p.m. on Tuesday. What will the rest of the week bring? Mother's Day, baby, Mother's Day, which Contrarienne will celebrate by attending a production of Gypsy at Port Townsend High School. And eating a hot dog from Dogs-A-Foot downtown.
But today has its own sweetness.
Of course, thanks to Stumbledupon, the vulva fans are still out there and trickling in.
But today we're also
hearing from Italy because of sculptor Kelly Bersheim's stunning photo of Santa Croce (and from Kelly herself, that lucky American living and working in Florence) and some of Mardie's Twitter buddies responding to her tweet about our posting of NPR's Mom Music. Most surprising are the people coming from viralvideos because apparently the video of American troops in Afghanistan plotting to pass out Bibles in direct contradiction of military policy against evangelizing is hitting the charts.
Contrarienne learned about it from Huffington Post and has since seen a headline referencing a Pentagon claim that the Bibles, produced in Afghani languages, were confiscated.
And it's only 6:21 p.m. on Tuesday. What will the rest of the week bring? Mother's Day, baby, Mother's Day, which Contrarienne will celebrate by attending a production of Gypsy at Port Townsend High School. And eating a hot dog from Dogs-A-Foot downtown.
Labels:
Blogging,
Contrarienne,
New Media
Can't Make It Up
Who are the resident Republican fiction writers, anyway? I mean now that Updike's passed.
Oh, Bruce Willis. Right.
No, wait, Condi Rice.
Only in America Dept.
Oh, Bruce Willis. Right.
No, wait, Condi Rice.
Only in America Dept.
The Candies Foundation announced Tuesday it has appointed teen mom Bristol Palin as its new ambassador. The foundation, which encourages abstinence to prevent pregnancy among teenage girls, has chosen Palin to help promote National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy on May 6.
Labels:
Bristol Palin,
Hypocrisy,
Republicans
Oh, The Horror, The Horror
He takes Michelle to Citronelle. Joe gets a Ray's Hell burger.
On the other hand, they're 10 oz. puddles of good. Wait, Joe, a heartbeat away? Did Nancy suggest this?
But seriously, folks, did W actually ever go out to eat after he became president?
On the other hand, they're 10 oz. puddles of good. Wait, Joe, a heartbeat away? Did Nancy suggest this?
But seriously, folks, did W actually ever go out to eat after he became president?
Labels:
Presidential Trivia
Tossup
Who will go crazy sooner, Shorty, whose carefree puppy life has been temporarily interrupted by recovery from surgery (female, e.g. fertility elimination) or her person.
We took off the collar, meant to prevent her from licking and damaging her "wound" almost immediately, convinced that a few judidicious "no" commands would prevent it. So far so good.
But a bored puppy is a wonder to behold. Her appetite for "soft," read canned, food is prodigious. And so far this morning, she has made short shrift of one brand new hardcover book and one DVD cover, dismissed all old toys as "old toys" and reverted to barking at me for attention, something that ended weeks ago.
She must not be allowed to run or play or get wet or lick herself for two weeks. I do not see this happening.
Also this morning, she used her paws to splash all the water out of her bowl, then dragged it across the rug to a spot where she could attempt to eat it. Fortunately, it is ceramic.
Oiy!
We took off the collar, meant to prevent her from licking and damaging her "wound" almost immediately, convinced that a few judidicious "no" commands would prevent it. So far so good.
But a bored puppy is a wonder to behold. Her appetite for "soft," read canned, food is prodigious. And so far this morning, she has made short shrift of one brand new hardcover book and one DVD cover, dismissed all old toys as "old toys" and reverted to barking at me for attention, something that ended weeks ago.
She must not be allowed to run or play or get wet or lick herself for two weeks. I do not see this happening.
Also this morning, she used her paws to splash all the water out of her bowl, then dragged it across the rug to a spot where she could attempt to eat it. Fortunately, it is ceramic.
Oiy!
Labels:
Shorty
First Day In Florence, May 1995
I was walking along the Arno on a street lined with expensive shops and hotels when I glanced casually to my left down a short, narrow passage that wasn't even a street. There at the end were huge naked men, the marble statue reproductions in front of the Uffizi.
I was shocked.
It was the lunch hour and I was waiting for things to open up again to secure the rental car I had ordered, and the "opera' tickets for a little theater piece that turned out to have only one song, lots of artistic agonizing in Italian and an audience of Italians dressed to the nines. I remember one bella figura wearing matching turquoise leather dress and coat.
I also discoverd Santa Croce that day and returned to it again and again. Dante is buried there. But it was a painting of perhaps the Madonna or Magdelene, dressed in red with a blue mantle from which her unruly black hair seemed to billow before the turbulent winds in the hills that drew me, a spriritual experience that remains with me to this day.
She was wild with something. An untamed woman. Rapture probably.
In that spirit, as I hunt for her online, I give you Kelly Bersheim's Santa Croce. I don't think she would mind.
I was shocked.
It was the lunch hour and I was waiting for things to open up again to secure the rental car I had ordered, and the "opera' tickets for a little theater piece that turned out to have only one song, lots of artistic agonizing in Italian and an audience of Italians dressed to the nines. I remember one bella figura wearing matching turquoise leather dress and coat.
I also discoverd Santa Croce that day and returned to it again and again. Dante is buried there. But it was a painting of perhaps the Madonna or Magdelene, dressed in red with a blue mantle from which her unruly black hair seemed to billow before the turbulent winds in the hills that drew me, a spriritual experience that remains with me to this day.
She was wild with something. An untamed woman. Rapture probably.
In that spirit, as I hunt for her online, I give you Kelly Bersheim's Santa Croce. I don't think she would mind.
Mom Music
I thought it would never happen.
P.S. NPR, in my opinion one of the best Web sites on the intertubes, won 7 Webbys this week.
Maybe because they're good writers up there. Worth a bookmark.
Sample:
UPDATE: My pathetic browser, Camino, kept quitting on me on this. But it was quitting yesterday, too. Fair warning, maybe too much traffic?
UPDATE II: Yes, my browser cooperated and I'm listening. Surprise winner so far, John Lennon's Mother.
P.S. NPR, in my opinion one of the best Web sites on the intertubes, won 7 Webbys this week.
Maybe because they're good writers up there. Worth a bookmark.
Sample:
She might be a benevolent and nurturing giver of kisses, or a coldly manipulative taskmaster, or even a clump of wire onto which you clung helplessly as part of a twisted social experiment. But chances are good that you still feel the pull of guilt and social obligation surrounding Mother's Day.So why not tell Mom you love her — without doing so directly, of course — and send her a link to this page? These four hours of motherhood-themed songs (from Smokey Robinson to Dvorak, from The Pretenders to Lucinda Williams) will give her something to listen to while she waits in vain for your phone call.Wait, Laurie Anderson's Oh, Superman, possibly my favorite "song" of all time, is on the play list. Huh? Guess I'll have to listen now.
UPDATE: My pathetic browser, Camino, kept quitting on me on this. But it was quitting yesterday, too. Fair warning, maybe too much traffic?
UPDATE II: Yes, my browser cooperated and I'm listening. Surprise winner so far, John Lennon's Mother.
Momma, don't go. Daddy, come home
Labels:
NPR,
Women Worth Noting.
And Then There's Black Carbon
How's that wood-burning thing working out for you, huh?
And Surprise O' Teh Week (it's only Tuesday), Inhofe want's to know more.
And Surprise O' Teh Week (it's only Tuesday), Inhofe want's to know more.
Labels:
Climate Change,
Environment
Monday, May 4, 2009
Shoppie Alert: Filene's Basement Bankrupt
Never been to any one of them myself, but even a thrift store advocate has heard of Filene's. Sign of the times.
Labels:
Economy
Why We Are In Afghanistan
Something the major media are unlikely to cover.
Labels:
Afghanistan,
Religion
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Quote O' Teh Day
In the end,
we will conserve only what we love,
we will love only what we understand,
we will understand only what we are taught.
-Baba Dioum
Posted at the Bronx Zoo and quoted in a blog entry at Daily Kos today lamenting the closing of the nocturnal animal exhibit and the plans to ship the animals to other zoos.
Me, I hate zoos. But I understand the necessity.
Labels:
Quote
Why Women Love Oxytocin
It's the orgasm, honey, it's the orgasm.
I say let's hear it for the bonobos, so sexual that their organs actually drag on the ground.
Anyway, Andrew Sullivan found this incredibly boring, highly speculative and ultimately unsatisfying academic discussion on why women have orgasms.
I read the whole thing, but do not recommend it.
Conclusion:
I say let's hear it for the bonobos, so sexual that their organs actually drag on the ground.
Anyway, Andrew Sullivan found this incredibly boring, highly speculative and ultimately unsatisfying academic discussion on why women have orgasms.
I read the whole thing, but do not recommend it.
Conclusion:
Whatever the reality, it seems clear that without postulating “stories” of one sort of another, we’ll never know the truth. As it is, someday we will.Time will tell. News at 11. Stay tuned. Or not.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
R.I.P. Newspapers
Andrew Sullivan titles this post "Dreaming of Blogging."
"Before this century shall run out, Journalism will be the whole press - the whole human thought. Through that prodigious multiplication which art has given to speech - multiplication to be multiplied a thousand-fold yet - mankind will write their book day by day, hour by hour, page by page. Thought will spread abroad in the world with the rapidity of light; instantly conceived, instantly written, instantly understood, at the extremities of earth, it will spread from pole to pole.Still doesn't get the city council covered, though.
Sudden, instant, burning with the fervor of soul which made it burst forth, it will be the reign of the human soul in all its plenitude. It will not have time to ripen, to accumulate into the form of a book - the book will arrive too late. The only book possible from today is a Newspaper," - Alphonse Marie Louis de Prat de Lamartine, 1861.
Labels:
Blogging,
New Media,
Newspapers
Shameless Self-Promotion Part II
I write it and I'll steal it.
Life in the woods just isn't the same with indoor plumbing and heat
Wednesday, December 4, 1996
SOMEWHERE IN THE WOODS, JEFFERSON COUNTY — When last my words graced this space on an irregular basis, I was an entirely different person.Sometime soon, maybe I'll think about new stuff longer than 140 characters.
I lived with a teenage girl whose opinions, habits and activities provided enough amusing material for daily commentary, had that been needed.
I also lived with an adult male whose nickname I have been forbidden to use again in print. (Nothing personal, his co-workers are relentless teases and read The Sun.)
When at a loss, I could always wrap some wry comment around his unassuming mechanical expertise compared to my technophobia.
We were homesteaders, sort of, sheltered in a tiny two-room cabin, half-finished and unconnected to either a power or water utility.
We owned a big, old, grimy, single-purpose Dodge truck. It held a big, blue plastic tank, which we took weekly to the county park or our friendly Cenex store to refill.
We drank that water, cooked with it, sponged ourselves off with it and took our showers in town at the marina.
After surviving the first winter on wood heat, I swore I'd never take my life in my hands that way again.
Survival had come down to trudging out onto our 3.4 acres to seek and fell likely alders, totally ignorant of chain saw etiquette and very lucky.
After that, we relied on propane and I don't plan to ever make a fire with wood again no matter how cozy it sounds to those who've never risen in the icy dark and tried to start green alder in a woodstove.
There were real three-dog nights. I jostled for position on the futon with Bill, Ajax and Pedal.
We owned a precious electric generator that kept the TV and lights running for five years before finally dying of fatigue.
It had been such a good friend that we considered burying it alongside first Pedal, then Bill. All three of us held a queer pride about our lifestyle, not exactly chosen, but the result, I used to joke, of bad luck, bad timing and bad judgment.
And, of course, all of it made great column material.
But I'm a different person now.
The former teenager, distressed and imagining wrinkles, pronounced herself "a quarter of a century old!" this year, and plans to drive to Alaska with her two new dogs as soon as she finishes college.
She lives in another city and another world.
I have reached a friendly agreement with the person-whose-nickname-I-am-forbidden-to-use, and he has the cabin all to himself.
For more than a year, I have inhabited — still stunned by the luxury — a brand new bungalow about 100 yards away.
We are "on the grid" for power and water.
When I come home, I do not have to fill a generator or kerosene lantern for light.
When Chew Doggie Dog, the Rappa Snappa, rolls in horse manure, I do not hope for rain to wash her off.
All I have to do is drag her into one of the two — count them, two — bathrooms, and let her have it.
For the first time in 12 years, I have a lawn to mow.
Some closets and cupboards still are empty because I haven't owned enough stuff to fill them with for so long.
It is all so mundane, so civilized.
Whatever am I going to do for column material now?
Labels:
Vanity
Just Cool
Big O takes a little time with the U of Conn championship women's basketball team.
Somehow I can't get the image out of my head of W out there with the American beach volleyball beauties, awkward and clownish.
Somehow I can't get the image out of my head of W out there with the American beach volleyball beauties, awkward and clownish.
Labels:
Presidents,
Sports
Friday, May 1, 2009
News O' Teh Week
It was swine flu all the time and while I was impatient with the skeptics and the alarmists at the same time, I was also bored. Tell me something I don't know, I thought.
So this morning "they" did.
Flu may have origins in California, which should make the border police happy. And no matter if it's a relatively mild strain and doesn't mutate in six months into something more virulent, it's still very disruptive (think of all the parents of the kids whose schools are closed but on a larger scale. I mean Mexico is shutting down business, for Gawd's sake.)
Feds reportedly ready to drop case against the AIPAC Two, the civilians who apparently trafficked in U.S. secrets to benefit Israel, because court cases in which no harm can be proven don't fare well. Hum. All that and Jane Harman, too.
Oh, and Souter of all people, is divorcing the Supremes. Souter of all people, not Stevens, not Ginsburg (sp?). Thank you NPR for being journalists. Well, Nina T, anyway.
Comment O' Teh Day: To Boost His Chances of Succeeding Souter, Arlen Specter to Switch Gender
Biden said something the airlines didn't like. Okay, I knew that. For airlines substitute anything. Could be a good drinking game.
For more, drop in on the front page of Talking Points Memo.
So this morning "they" did.
Flu may have origins in California, which should make the border police happy. And no matter if it's a relatively mild strain and doesn't mutate in six months into something more virulent, it's still very disruptive (think of all the parents of the kids whose schools are closed but on a larger scale. I mean Mexico is shutting down business, for Gawd's sake.)
Feds reportedly ready to drop case against the AIPAC Two, the civilians who apparently trafficked in U.S. secrets to benefit Israel, because court cases in which no harm can be proven don't fare well. Hum. All that and Jane Harman, too.
Oh, and Souter of all people, is divorcing the Supremes. Souter of all people, not Stevens, not Ginsburg (sp?). Thank you NPR for being journalists. Well, Nina T, anyway.
Comment O' Teh Day: To Boost His Chances of Succeeding Souter, Arlen Specter to Switch Gender
For more, drop in on the front page of Talking Points Memo.
Labels:
News
Thursday, April 30, 2009
What Twitter Is For
You thought maybe flu tracking or something?
Try txts frm lst night.
Try txts frm lst night.
Labels:
New Media
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Chill, Please
Even though I'm guilty of getting on the flu pandemic bandwagon early on, I had good reason.
But the story has deteriorated. Look, it's the lead story tonight that there are six cases in Washington.
Every year 35,000 Americans die of the effects of the ordinary, yearly flu. Most are old feebs like me who get complications — pneumonia — because they're feebs and their immune systems are compromised.
What they need to tell us over and over is what pandemic means, the history of such viruses and the potential for either fizzling out, staying the same, or skyrocketing into a global threat.
Instead we get this horse race thingie going. I admit it, I would be reporting the first case in Kitsap County, too. But I'd get that other stuff into the second paragraph.
I'm looking for the AP story on this, just to see who's going for the throat.
But the story has deteriorated. Look, it's the lead story tonight that there are six cases in Washington.
Every year 35,000 Americans die of the effects of the ordinary, yearly flu. Most are old feebs like me who get complications — pneumonia — because they're feebs and their immune systems are compromised.
What they need to tell us over and over is what pandemic means, the history of such viruses and the potential for either fizzling out, staying the same, or skyrocketing into a global threat.
Instead we get this horse race thingie going. I admit it, I would be reporting the first case in Kitsap County, too. But I'd get that other stuff into the second paragraph.
I'm looking for the AP story on this, just to see who's going for the throat.
Labels:
Flu,
Health,
Journalism,
Media
Mark This Date
Today is the day Twitter died because....She's on it.
Link is to Mudflats, by the way, a highly respected Alaskan political blog.
And no, her spokesman wouldn't say if she is still getting per diem to work from home. Heh.
Link is to Mudflats, by the way, a highly respected Alaskan political blog.
And no, her spokesman wouldn't say if she is still getting per diem to work from home. Heh.
Labels:
Sara Palin
Future Of Journalism
Google.
A former colleague thinks so anyway. Yeah, but who keeps the city council honest? Not that we actually do all that often, but you know.
A former colleague thinks so anyway. Yeah, but who keeps the city council honest? Not that we actually do all that often, but you know.
Labels:
Journalism
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Hunched Over, Snarling Bitterly
Who, me? No, FOX News, I guess.
A reader at TPM made me laugh.
A reader at TPM made me laugh.
We may not get one good vote out of Arlen we weren't gonna get anyway, but today has already been worth it to watch GOP commentators take on that hunched over bitter snarl they all have now.
Labels:
Media,
Middle East Politics
Hope Against Hope, UPDATED
Taplin hates Krugman, but I forgive him. Actually, I kinda hate Krugman once in a while, too. But not since the primaries.
I'm looking to see if there's anything we can do to support Leahy's quest for a Truth Commission.
UDPATE: Here's the petition.
...it’s a mission that will fail and within a year we will see Mr. Cheney reluctantly raising his right hand and swearing to tell “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”
I'm looking to see if there's anything we can do to support Leahy's quest for a Truth Commission.
UDPATE: Here's the petition.
Labels:
Dick Cheney,
Torture
This Just In
Arlen Specter will no longer be doing the balancing act between party and conscience. He's facing almost certain defeat in the Pennsylvania primary, and is switching parties.
A commenter points out that when Franken gets seated, the Dems will have a safe if narrow majority in the Senate.
I've had a soft spot for Specter ever since the anti-choice people went after him — he's pro-choice — and he barely survived.
Now they wingnuts are out in force to get him again, more proof that the R's are trapped and chewing off their own feet.
UDATE: Universal health, here we come. Climate change bill?
A commenter points out that when Franken gets seated, the Dems will have a safe if narrow majority in the Senate.
I've had a soft spot for Specter ever since the anti-choice people went after him — he's pro-choice — and he barely survived.
Now they wingnuts are out in force to get him again, more proof that the R's are trapped and chewing off their own feet.
UDATE: Universal health, here we come. Climate change bill?
Labels:
Congress,
Politics 2010
Besides, It Doesn't Work
I always found that argument especially offensive to my intelligence and what remains of my heart.
It's wrong on the face of it, period. There are few absolutes, but the destructive nature of torture goes far beyond the object of torture, the perpetrator. It rots everything.
Andrew Sullivan writes well on this:
It's wrong on the face of it, period. There are few absolutes, but the destructive nature of torture goes far beyond the object of torture, the perpetrator. It rots everything.
Andrew Sullivan writes well on this:
Torture, when used, is like Tolkien's ring, when slipped on. It becomes its own power and its own rationale because it can coerce its own results. This is why civilized societies have placed the torture option off limits - way off limits with a wide berth in law and custom. Because it destroys the core elements of truth, freedom and fairness that are foundational for Western civilization.
Labels:
Torture
Tweet, Anyone? Anyone? Crickets.
I went out on a limb last week and jeopardized my always shaky credibility by issuing the opinion that Twitter was a flash in the pan. Now Neilsen backs that up. People aren't staying with it, something I didn't know for sure, but suspected was the case.
Once again, Julimac was right. Or maybe not, whatever.
Entirely unrelated — or is it? — hits on White House videos have gone through the roof since Obama's tech savvy administration took over and the biggest audience? You, contrariennes, you. Actually, the men first, women second. Another Neilsen gem.
Once again, Julimac was right. Or maybe not, whatever.
Maybe we’re jumping the gun. Twitter is still something of a fledgling, and surely some other sites that eventually lived up to Twitter-like hype suffered from poor retention in the early days. Compare it to the two heavily-touted behemoths of social networking when they were just starting out. Doing so below, we found that even when Facebook and MySpace were emerging networks like Twitter is now, their retention rates were twice as high. When they went through their explosive growth phases, that retention only went up, and both sit at nearly 70 percent today.
Entirely unrelated — or is it? — hits on White House videos have gone through the roof since Obama's tech savvy administration took over and the biggest audience? You, contrariennes, you. Actually, the men first, women second. Another Neilsen gem.
Labels:
Pop Culture
Swine Flu
Besides the three precautions — handwashing, skip crowds, seek treatment — the most important thing to know is that this is apparently the first wave. It's the second wave, in about six months, that will be fully adapted to its hosts. Supposedly by then there will be a vaccine. Fingers crossed.
I know, I know, I'm old and I scare easily.
BTW, the link is to John Barry's column in the NYT. He wrote the definitive book of the story of 1918. I haven't read it, but I read Gina Kolada's book, a really fun read.
The story is terrific. The mayor of Seattle was run out of town for closing theaters and other public places. To this day, definitive death counts are hard to come by because they were kept secret.
I know, I know, I'm old and I scare easily.
BTW, the link is to John Barry's column in the NYT. He wrote the definitive book of the story of 1918. I haven't read it, but I read Gina Kolada's book, a really fun read.
The story is terrific. The mayor of Seattle was run out of town for closing theaters and other public places. To this day, definitive death counts are hard to come by because they were kept secret.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Susan Collins, You're No. 1!
As of today, she goes to the top of the list of people I love to hate. Punch in the mouth? Not so much. Nothing she does rivals Cheney, Bush et al.
Well, as it turns out, volcano monitoring wasn't the only worthwhile public safety program that was deemed extravagant in the stimulus package, funding for pandemic preparation was axed as well. And playing a critical role was Susan Collins -- for whom the necessity of obtaining her vote is in inverse proportion to the intelligence she shows in policy making:
Famously, Maine Senator Collins, the supposedly moderate Republican who demanded cuts in health care spending in exchange for her support of a watered-down version of the stimulus, fumed about the pandemic funding: "Does it belong in this bill? Should we have $870 million in this bill No, we should not."
Even now, Collins continues to use her official website to highlight the fact that she led the fight to strip the pandemic preparedness money out of the Senate's version of the stimulus measure.
Labels:
Flu,
Health,
Republicans,
Wingnuts,
Women Worth Noting
Foodie Alert: Chocolate Cake Anytime You Want
I had mine for breakfast. Thanks, BW.
Oh, and three minutes was a little long in my old microwave.
5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (Microwave Safe)
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well...
Add the chocolate chips (if using) (if you want “death by chocolate” J) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).
And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?
Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!
Oh, and three minutes was a little long in my old microwave.
5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (Microwave Safe)
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well...
Add the chocolate chips (if using) (if you want “death by chocolate” J) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).
And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?
Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Last Week It Was Secession
This week it's HELP!
Gov. Rick Perry Saturday asked the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for 37,430 courses of antiviral medications from the Strategic National Stockpile as a precaution after three cases of swine flu were confirmed in Texas.
Labels:
Wingnuts
Flu Update
This latest variant is a brand new mixture of human virus, bird virus, and pig viruses from all over the world. Experts say it's particularly worrisome because people are getting sick without any encounters with pigs. Even worse, young, healthy people (ages 20-40) are dying at a striking rate, a telltale sign of the worst flu epidemics.Ben Sherwood for Huffpo with three key points of advice. Wash your hands. Stay away from groups/crowds. Seek help at onset of symptoms. It is treatable.
Uh, bookmark this. For me, so I don't worry about you. I'm old and I scare easily.
Labels:
Health
Pandemicville
I've been a little paranoid about earthquakes and flu pandemics ever since I began writing about them. I even went so far as to begin stockpiling a little food in case we're cut off. I know, I'm old, and I scare easily.
But with the Mexican swine thing hitting the news plus the continuing bird flu deaths in exotic locales, it suddenly occurred to me this sunny Sunday morning — what if we got, not pandemics at first, but two epidemics at once? Better ask DemfromCT over at dKos about this, I'm thinking. He's a health professional on the flu beat.
BTW, don't buy the border thing when it comes up. We're a plane ride away now, which is how our state got its first West Nile death a few years back.
But with the Mexican swine thing hitting the news plus the continuing bird flu deaths in exotic locales, it suddenly occurred to me this sunny Sunday morning — what if we got, not pandemics at first, but two epidemics at once? Better ask DemfromCT over at dKos about this, I'm thinking. He's a health professional on the flu beat.
BTW, don't buy the border thing when it comes up. We're a plane ride away now, which is how our state got its first West Nile death a few years back.
Labels:
Armageddon,
Health
What Nasty Side of Pot?
Andrew Sullivan is providing lots of material today.
This from Science Daily:
This from Science Daily:
"The War on Drugs has hit very close to home," said Gerald Weissmann, M.D., Editor-in-Chief of The FASEB Journal. "Last year, scientists found that our skin makes its own marijuana-like substance. Now, we see that our brain has been making proteins that act directly on the marijuana receptors in our head. The next step is for scientists to come up with new medicines that eliminate the nasty side of pot—a better joint, so to speak."
Labels:
Brain Stuff
The 4-Minute Book
Yeah, but what about Kindle?
And is this cheaper?
And is this cheaper?
On Demand is releasing a new model of the machine, version 2.0, which will print books faster--roughly four minutes for a 300-page book as opposed to eight minutes--and be offered at a lower price point. Neller added that the Espresso machine can now be leased as well. The 2.0 model will be on display at the London Book Fair.
Labels:
Lit
Eye Candy
I'm going to try to check up on the links to the right this week, clean up what's dead, etc.
The Sartorialist is alive and well, I'm happy to report.
The Sartorialist is alive and well, I'm happy to report.
This just in from Paris.
Labels:
Eye Candy
Sunday Bible Studies
Andrew Sullivan turns this up at The New Yorker today, David Plotz, the guy who read the Bible and then wrote about it.
Makes me want to read the book.
Makes me want to read the book.
The overarching theme of the Bible, particularly of Genesis, is real estate. God is Trump-like, constantly making land deals (and then remaking them, on different terms). When Sarah dies, for example, there are two verses about her death, and a whole chapter about Abraham negotiating to buy a burial site for her in Hebron. It’s not just land that the Bible is obsessed with, but also portable property: gold, silver, livestock.and...
My own feeling is that the Messy Bible—with its ambiguous (or worse) heroes and its erratic and wrathful God—is a lot more interesting, and more true to our ugly world, than the Sunday School Bible. But the Sunday School Bible is easier to teach.and..
And one rich vein in the Bible is the tension between church and state, as God and His prophets are arrayed against a series of kings who aggrandize themselves and try to keep God out of the public sphere. The Bible, naturally, comes down on the side of church supremacy. My own sympathies are with the kings, who are always being undermined by meddling prophets. But I didn’t find a Biblical Obama.
Labels:
Religion
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Weekend Keeper
h/t Andrew Sullivan
Andrew used to work for this publication, whose unflinching support of the Iraq War angered people like me. But this analysis, in language even a non-wonk like me can understand, is crucial to understanding our present. And past. And President.
Andrew used to work for this publication, whose unflinching support of the Iraq War angered people like me. But this analysis, in language even a non-wonk like me can understand, is crucial to understanding our present. And past. And President.
... if it works, Obama will have truly found the Third Way Clinton grasped for a decade ago.
...It is essential that we be reminded of the context of this stuff, because most of the daily media says nothing about history. And when they do, it's usually grossly simplified and therefore inaccurate. In the meantime, who was paying attention back then? I need to be reminded.
Before long, the economy was creating jobs at a dizzying clip--ten million between 1993 and 1997, another eight million between 1997 and 2000. Rising productivity was driving up wages across the income spectrum. By some measures, poverty was the lowest since the government had begun keeping track. It really did look like shrinking deficits had triggered lower interest rates and unleashed a wave of private investment that was powering the economy to new heights.
It's what came next that darkens the narrative. Amid all the new economy triumphalism, the Clintonites deregulated the telecommunications industry and repealed New Deal-era restrictions on bank consolidation. In 1997, Clinton even signed a bill lowering the capital-gains tax rate, that perennial GOP fetish. Having begun their administration grudgingly appeasing Greenspan, the Clintonites gradually embraced his view that, in many cases, government could do no better than step aside.
Labels:
Barack Obama,
The Nation
Krugman O' Teh Day
I've given up following the economics of it all, so much like a 10-ring circus.
But Krugman apparently doesn't get dizzy.
But Krugman apparently doesn't get dizzy.
So Citigroup is profitable because investors think it’s failing, while Morgan Stanley is losing money because investors think it will survive. I am not making this up.
Labels:
Econ
Women And Art
My friend AB sends tidbits like this along and I pass the pleasure when I can.
NB Link fixed, thanks puzzled.
NB Link fixed, thanks puzzled.
Labels:
Women Worth Noting
Friday, April 24, 2009
F**** Copyright
So once in a while I Google myself and every time I'm further and further down the list of fellow julimacs as my former public persona disappears down the rabbit hole of internet history.
First up this time was a pretty good column on my old newspaper's Web site.
Circa 1997. I don't know what a 386 is and don't remember owning one. I remember an old, clunky HP laptop and a newer HP. Oh, maybe that's the dead thing in what I laughingly call my office.
(Nope, that's not it. I bought that with my daughter's help. I remember distinctly.)
Since 2007, I've been out here at the kitchen counter where I can monitor the feeder birds and answer the land line.
DOS. Heh.
First up this time was a pretty good column on my old newspaper's Web site.
Circa 1997. I don't know what a 386 is and don't remember owning one. I remember an old, clunky HP laptop and a newer HP. Oh, maybe that's the dead thing in what I laughingly call my office.
(Nope, that's not it. I bought that with my daughter's help. I remember distinctly.)
Since 2007, I've been out here at the kitchen counter where I can monitor the feeder birds and answer the land line.
Now, of course, I actually know what a server is. But I wish I didn't.Fear of physics, technology and other bloodless, sapless thing s
I am a technophobe.
It's partly because of Crazy Alice, the girls' counselor at Omaha North High School, 1960-1962, not to mention many earlier decades.
I had my junior year all planned out so eighth period was open and I could sign up for gym.
That way, in the spring I could run around in blue shorts in the late afternoon sun and tease the boys' baseball team or sneak out early to sit in a car and smoke cigarettes with my boyfriend, who was a senior and had eighth period free because he didn't play sports.
Crazy Alice signed me up for her health class instead.
I learned how to sing the words deoxyribonucleic acid in order to remember it for the final (What is DNA?). And I think someone in the class did a highly interesting project on venereal disease.
I don't remember learning anything about how my body worked, or why, although I'm sure somewhere in there were the four major food groups, tourniquets and germs.
Senior year I figured I'd get the same perks everybody else did who was heading to college or otherwise favored. I could avoid an eighth-period class altogether, meet my boyfriend and still get to my job at the drugstore a half hour early.
Crazy Alice signed me up for physics instead.
It was taught by Mr. Dally, a pear-shaped innocent with whom she was rumored to have been in love in prehistoric times. Of course he was called Mr. Dillydally.
I sat next to my boyfriend's brother by the window, which in the spring overlooked the boys' baseball team. He got me through experiments intended to demonstrate electricity, radio waves, magnets and other stuff.
Outside of letting Shelley Hessler (who later moved to Portugal and speaks the language fluently) copy off my Spanish exams, physics was the only class in which I ever cheated.
Shamelessly.
I managed to pull a D.
It wasn't that I couldn't learn, I didn't want to learn.
How inanimate things work is of no interest to me, things with no souls, no blood, no sap. Also, theoretical things, invisible things like atoms and quarks and black holes whose existence I don't doubt but whose applications in my life I leave to others.
They're frightening things, when you consider that we have reached the stage of understanding that it's entirely likely there are no laws of nature. You know, the Tao of Physics and all that.
At best, technical knowledge is a tool. I have no quarrel with tools like hammers, saws and egg timers whose use is self-evident in their design.
I have an aversion to tools that require me to concentrate and spend hours learning how they work before I can get something done.
Like computers. They're nice tools. It was no great leap from typewriters for me, and I would never choose to leap back.
But I don't want to know, nor do I see why I should know, what a server is. Or a microchip for that matter. Or how they work, or why.
Some of my interests are literature, gardening, human behavior, truth, justice, beauty, love and Italy.
I can use computers to write about those things, and to learn about them, but I don't need to know DOS to do so.
Which is why the gloriously cheap 386 clone I bought more than a month ago from our presentation desk editor still sits in its box on the floor in my home ""office.""
I will have to spend hours learning how to use it, I just know it.
And thanks to Crazy Alice, I really resent that.
DOS. Heh.
Labels:
Vanity
Hey, I'll Take Some Of That
Lenders offer Chrysler 46% loan reduction.
Labels:
Econ
Susan Boyle, We Hardly Knew Ye
The stereotyped, frowsy "spinster" who caused a world sensation when gems flew out of her singing mouth during a Britain's Got Talent segment has had her hair and eyebrows done, bought a leather jacket and posed in non-spinster attitude. I would, too.
But according to "some," it's all Madonna's fault.
Another Friviality Friday entry.
Commenter Anonymous makes a good point:
But according to "some," it's all Madonna's fault.
Another Friviality Friday entry.
Before Madonna, you just had to have talent," she said. "Now, it's the whole package."
Commenter Anonymous makes a good point:
Go, Susan. It is amazing the difference clothes can make, actually. She shouldn't have to stay the same, as if she were in costume.
Labels:
Friviality Friday,
Susan Boyle,
Women Worth Noting
Friviality Friday
Why don't I own Ghostbusters and watch it every month? Why hasn't Bill Murray done anything as good since? Writing, that's why.
Reading the script reminds me of the Marx Brothers. Almost as good as the movie.
Reading the script reminds me of the Marx Brothers. Almost as good as the movie.
Labels:
Friviality Friday
Personal Finance In Hard Times
I'm an expert at flushing money down the toilet, so take this for what it's worth.
If you're reviewing your expenditures for possible savings, I can declare myself a personally extremely satisfied customer of Vonage, which will get you unlimited long distance calling — and local, of course — for $25 a month ($10 for the first three now that they're trying harder). It's internet service. When I started working from home and needed to give my sources a local number to call, the IT guys set me up with Vonage. I kept it long past my needs (I hardly ever call l.d. and still have 700 minutes on my phone card) because I naively thought I might start a business.
Second, I know one person who is satisfied with the "good guy" cell phone company Credo.
You'll have to do your own research on this because Contrarienne is just a blog, not a salaried employee of the major media.
Just passing it along in the For What It's Worth Dept.
P.S. No, nobody pays me for this. I am paid to be old only.
If you're reviewing your expenditures for possible savings, I can declare myself a personally extremely satisfied customer of Vonage, which will get you unlimited long distance calling — and local, of course — for $25 a month ($10 for the first three now that they're trying harder). It's internet service. When I started working from home and needed to give my sources a local number to call, the IT guys set me up with Vonage. I kept it long past my needs (I hardly ever call l.d. and still have 700 minutes on my phone card) because I naively thought I might start a business.
Second, I know one person who is satisfied with the "good guy" cell phone company Credo.
You'll have to do your own research on this because Contrarienne is just a blog, not a salaried employee of the major media.
Just passing it along in the For What It's Worth Dept.
P.S. No, nobody pays me for this. I am paid to be old only.
Labels:
Consumer Finance
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Comment O' Teh Day
TMP cites reader MM, who says:
Last week, conservatives were complaining Obama was establishing a socialistic fascist dictatorship.
This week, conservatives are complaining Obama does not want to torture his opponents.
Labels:
Torture
R.I.P. Alyssa Peterson
Army interrogator Alyssa Peterson couldn't stomach torture of prisoners. So she killed herself. Another woman, Katya Williams, equally bothered survived, but is "haunted."
"Peterson objected to the interrogation techniques used on prisoners. She refused to participate after only two nights working in the unit known as the cage. Army spokespersons for her unit have refused to describe the interrogation techniques Alyssa objected to. They say all records of those techniques have now been destroyed."BTW, the story was unearhed by a public radio reporter filing FOIAs (Freedom of Information Requests.)
Labels:
Women Worth Noting
All That Waterboarding
was about their need to prove a connection between Iraq and AQ. From McClatchy, which will probably go under soon. RIP good journalism.
McClatchy reports that, "for most of 2002 and into 2003, Cheney and Rumsfeld, especially, were...demanding proof of the links between al Qaida and Iraq...(former Iraqi exile leader Ahmed) Chalabi" and these techniques were seen as the quickest way to make the connection.
Labels:
Torture
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Cow Fart Controversy
You didn't know there was one, right? Hey, I read 'em so you don't have to. But in case you want to.
Labels:
Climate Change
This Torture Stuff
seems to building momentum for prosecution with a DOJ report pending in a couple of weeks that Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse says could be "devastating."
So the chatter among lefties is that the attorneys who authored the authorizations will be the ones to pay. Some jump to the conclusion that Bush/Cheney/Addington et al will skate. But Cheney's not acting that way, he's out there being defensive and challenging the administration to release the results of the 183 times one prisoner was waterboarded. Probably because he knows such documents would be saved for a prosecutor's evidence and not released beforehand.
Anyway, I'm kinda hopeful we may actually go after our own bad guys. It's a sunny, warm day after all. Why not take some cheer?
Sullivan uses a photo from Abu Grab to remind us what we're talking about here. (Okay, I haven't seen anybody say the CIA used dogs. Or that they didn't. There were no known images from the CIA's work, they destroyed the video tapes.)
So the chatter among lefties is that the attorneys who authored the authorizations will be the ones to pay. Some jump to the conclusion that Bush/Cheney/Addington et al will skate. But Cheney's not acting that way, he's out there being defensive and challenging the administration to release the results of the 183 times one prisoner was waterboarded. Probably because he knows such documents would be saved for a prosecutor's evidence and not released beforehand.
Anyway, I'm kinda hopeful we may actually go after our own bad guys. It's a sunny, warm day after all. Why not take some cheer?
It will be bad, exceedingly bad…worse even than Caligula but they have to have the whole terrible truth about just how bad it can be before they come to their senses. Let all of the poisons that lurk in the mud, hatch out."From TPM commenter Johnny2bad
i Claudius, Robert Graves
Sullivan uses a photo from Abu Grab to remind us what we're talking about here. (Okay, I haven't seen anybody say the CIA used dogs. Or that they didn't. There were no known images from the CIA's work, they destroyed the video tapes.)
Labels:
Torture
Monday, April 20, 2009
Obama Shakes Hands With Mexican Dog!
And bows down to him, too. Who says he's a Muslim. Clearly, he's an animist.
Labels:
Misc.
Little Flap About Israeli Connections
Sometimes the curtain gets blown back a little bit and you get a dim inkling of just how things actually get done. There's a new story about Calif. Rep. Jane Harman's supposed ties to the Israel lobby out in Congressional Quarterly.
(I'm not linking, just sythesizing. If you want the originals, Google is your friend, but I figured it's too trivial in the general scheme of things to bother contrariennes with and, besides, I haven't had my second cuppa yet).
If the term Israel lobby doesn't ring a bell, it basically means AIPAC, the American Israeli blah-blah something, which is purportedly the most powerful lobby in D.C. (Remember Israel gets the largest kick in foreign aid from us, most of it for defense AND AIPAC's job is to keep it coming. You can't get elected in either party without kissing their ass, which Obama and Clinton both did last year.)
Anyway, supposedly Harman was promised some heavy-duty lobbing with Pelosi for her to be made chair of the House Intel or Foreign Relations Committee or something in return for her weighing in with the Department of Justice to try to kill its prosecution of two AIPAC employees for spying. Yes, Israeli agents spying in America. Imagine. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.
Well, supposedly a phone conversation about this little deal between Harman and somebody maybe an Israeli agent was wiretapped by NASA — big issue here re: tapping congressional phones — but Gonzo intervened and she wasn't investigated for it, supposedly because the admin. needed her on their side during the DOJ scandal flap, or maybe the torture. Hard to keep it all straight. No, wait, it was over the authorization for widespread wiretapping of American citizens and the cooperation of most of the major carriers. Who said the age of irony is dead?
Are you with me so far? Who makes this stuff up, anyway?
Anyway, in the end Harman didn't get the job. Speculation at the time was that she and Pelosi hate each other. Harman's husband benefits from a lot of govt programs, maybe defense related, I think. Another thing I can't quite remember and am not looking up. This is a blog, not the New York Times. If it were the New York Times, I would be ignoring the story entirely and having chummy lunches in D.C. on AIPAC's dime.
Oh, the point, the point.
If the "Israeli agent" Harman talked to (she's on tape saying "this conversation never happened") is not a U.S. citizen, she's in legal trouble. If he is a citizen, she's not.
That's how it works. Oh, and coincidentally, this three-year-old story is being rehashed just days before the two Israeli agents are due to go to trial, so the reason for sources bringing it up again are a bit suspicious.
The guy most associated as the likely agent is a Hollywood type and big Israel supporter, a naturalized U.S. citizen from Israel who created the Mighty Morphin Rangers. Honest. Tom Clancy, eat your heart out.
Harman didn't get the job, by the way. Sylvester Reyes from N.M. did. He's a bit of an embarrassment, as are many of our elected officials.
Correction: Wiretapped by NSA, the National Security Agency, not NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Agency. Heh.
(I'm not linking, just sythesizing. If you want the originals, Google is your friend, but I figured it's too trivial in the general scheme of things to bother contrariennes with and, besides, I haven't had my second cuppa yet).
If the term Israel lobby doesn't ring a bell, it basically means AIPAC, the American Israeli blah-blah something, which is purportedly the most powerful lobby in D.C. (Remember Israel gets the largest kick in foreign aid from us, most of it for defense AND AIPAC's job is to keep it coming. You can't get elected in either party without kissing their ass, which Obama and Clinton both did last year.)
Anyway, supposedly Harman was promised some heavy-duty lobbing with Pelosi for her to be made chair of the House Intel or Foreign Relations Committee or something in return for her weighing in with the Department of Justice to try to kill its prosecution of two AIPAC employees for spying. Yes, Israeli agents spying in America. Imagine. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.
Well, supposedly a phone conversation about this little deal between Harman and somebody maybe an Israeli agent was wiretapped by NASA — big issue here re: tapping congressional phones — but Gonzo intervened and she wasn't investigated for it, supposedly because the admin. needed her on their side during the DOJ scandal flap, or maybe the torture. Hard to keep it all straight. No, wait, it was over the authorization for widespread wiretapping of American citizens and the cooperation of most of the major carriers. Who said the age of irony is dead?
Are you with me so far? Who makes this stuff up, anyway?
Anyway, in the end Harman didn't get the job. Speculation at the time was that she and Pelosi hate each other. Harman's husband benefits from a lot of govt programs, maybe defense related, I think. Another thing I can't quite remember and am not looking up. This is a blog, not the New York Times. If it were the New York Times, I would be ignoring the story entirely and having chummy lunches in D.C. on AIPAC's dime.
Oh, the point, the point.
If the "Israeli agent" Harman talked to (she's on tape saying "this conversation never happened") is not a U.S. citizen, she's in legal trouble. If he is a citizen, she's not.
That's how it works. Oh, and coincidentally, this three-year-old story is being rehashed just days before the two Israeli agents are due to go to trial, so the reason for sources bringing it up again are a bit suspicious.
The guy most associated as the likely agent is a Hollywood type and big Israel supporter, a naturalized U.S. citizen from Israel who created the Mighty Morphin Rangers. Honest. Tom Clancy, eat your heart out.
Harman didn't get the job, by the way. Sylvester Reyes from N.M. did. He's a bit of an embarrassment, as are many of our elected officials.
Correction: Wiretapped by NSA, the National Security Agency, not NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Agency. Heh.
Labels:
Jane Harman,
Women Worth Noting
Women I Love To Hate Dept.
Currently underpopulated. I just don't read Maureen Dowd anymore, Phyllis Schlafly is too old and Monica Goodling and that other DOJ attorney from Minnesota are long gone.
So, Peggy, you're at the top of the list today. If you've never seen Noonan milling about with the other talking heads on Sunday mornings, you may not know that the former Reagan speech writer is considered a moderate. Brian Williams actually said she deserves a Pulitzer. For stuff like this?:
So, Peggy, you're at the top of the list today. If you've never seen Noonan milling about with the other talking heads on Sunday mornings, you may not know that the former Reagan speech writer is considered a moderate. Brian Williams actually said she deserves a Pulitzer. For stuff like this?:
"Some things in life need to be mysterious ... Sometimes you need to just keep walking," - Peggy Noonan on how to respond to incontrovertible evidence that the president of the United States committed war crimes.
Labels:
Peggy Noonan,
Women Worth Noting
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Another Myth
down the toilet.
Remember how the talking heads were always announcing the good news of more productivity gains in the good old USA?
Well, not so much.
I've got my toe in the water on this whole financial industry debacle, but I can't bring myself to even go ankle deep. That water's cold, baby!
Remember how the talking heads were always announcing the good news of more productivity gains in the good old USA?
Well, not so much.
I've got my toe in the water on this whole financial industry debacle, but I can't bring myself to even go ankle deep. That water's cold, baby!
In short, how much of the apparent US productivity miracle, a miracle not shared by Europe, was a statistical illusion created by our bloated finance industry?
Dean Baker has argued for some time that, properly measured, the productivity gap between America and Europe never happened. I’m becoming more sympathetic to his point of view.
Labels:
Econ
Without Death
there would be no Poetry.
Not sure I like the terms of the bargain, but I was not consulted.
User's Guide to Physical Debilitation
by Paul Guest
Should the painful condition of irreversible paralysis
last longer than forever or at least until
your death by bowling ball or illegal lawn dart
or the culture of death, which really has it out
for whoever has seen better days
but still enjoys bruising marathons of bird watching,
you, or your beleaguered caregiver
stirring dark witch's brews of resentment
inside what had been her happy life,
should turn to page seven where you can learn,
assuming higher cognitive functions
were not pureed by your selfish misfortune,
how to leave the house for the first time in two years.
An important first step,
with apologies for the thoughtlessly thoughtless metaphor.
When not an outright impossibility
or form of neurological science fiction,
sexual congress will either be with
tourists in the kingdom of your tragedy,
performing an act of sadistic charity;
with the curious, for whom you will be beguilingly blank canvas;
or with someone blindly feeling their way
through an extended power outage
caused by summer storms you once thought romantic.
Page twelve instructs you how best
to be inspiring to Magnus next door
as he throws old Volkswagens into orbit
above Alberta. And to Betty
in her dark charm confiding a misery,
whatever it is, that to her seems equivalent to yours.
The curl of her hair that her finger knows
better and beyond what you will,
even in the hypothesis of heaven
when you sleep. This guide is intended
to prepare you for falling down
and declaring détente with gravity,
else you reach the inevitable end
of scaring small children by your presence alone.
Someone once said of crushing
helplessness: it is a good idea to avoid that.
We agree with that wisdom
but gleaming motorcycles are hard
to turn down or safely stop
at speeds which melt aluminum. Of special note
are sections regarding faith
healing, self-loathing, abstract hobbies
like theoretical spelunking and extreme atrophy,
and what to say to loved ones
who won't stop shrieking
at Christmas dinner. New to this edition
is an index of important terms
such as catheter, pain, blackout,
pathological deltoid obsession, escort service,
magnetic resonance imaging,
loss of friends due to superstitious fear,
and, of course, amputation
above the knee due to pernicious gangrene.
It is our hope that this guide
will be a valuable resource
during this long stretch of boredom and dread
and that it may be of some help,
however small, to cope with your new life
and the gradual, bittersweet loss
of every God damned thing you ever loved.
Not sure I like the terms of the bargain, but I was not consulted.
User's Guide to Physical Debilitation
by Paul Guest
Should the painful condition of irreversible paralysis
last longer than forever or at least until
your death by bowling ball or illegal lawn dart
or the culture of death, which really has it out
for whoever has seen better days
but still enjoys bruising marathons of bird watching,
you, or your beleaguered caregiver
stirring dark witch's brews of resentment
inside what had been her happy life,
should turn to page seven where you can learn,
assuming higher cognitive functions
were not pureed by your selfish misfortune,
how to leave the house for the first time in two years.
An important first step,
with apologies for the thoughtlessly thoughtless metaphor.
When not an outright impossibility
or form of neurological science fiction,
sexual congress will either be with
tourists in the kingdom of your tragedy,
performing an act of sadistic charity;
with the curious, for whom you will be beguilingly blank canvas;
or with someone blindly feeling their way
through an extended power outage
caused by summer storms you once thought romantic.
Page twelve instructs you how best
to be inspiring to Magnus next door
as he throws old Volkswagens into orbit
above Alberta. And to Betty
in her dark charm confiding a misery,
whatever it is, that to her seems equivalent to yours.
The curl of her hair that her finger knows
better and beyond what you will,
even in the hypothesis of heaven
when you sleep. This guide is intended
to prepare you for falling down
and declaring détente with gravity,
else you reach the inevitable end
of scaring small children by your presence alone.
Someone once said of crushing
helplessness: it is a good idea to avoid that.
We agree with that wisdom
but gleaming motorcycles are hard
to turn down or safely stop
at speeds which melt aluminum. Of special note
are sections regarding faith
healing, self-loathing, abstract hobbies
like theoretical spelunking and extreme atrophy,
and what to say to loved ones
who won't stop shrieking
at Christmas dinner. New to this edition
is an index of important terms
such as catheter, pain, blackout,
pathological deltoid obsession, escort service,
magnetic resonance imaging,
loss of friends due to superstitious fear,
and, of course, amputation
above the knee due to pernicious gangrene.
It is our hope that this guide
will be a valuable resource
during this long stretch of boredom and dread
and that it may be of some help,
however small, to cope with your new life
and the gradual, bittersweet loss
of every God damned thing you ever loved.
Labels:
Poetry
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