Everything Is Amazing

"New York to L.A. in five hours. It used to take THIRTY YEARS!"
I love Louis CK, he's the smartest, funniest to come along in a very long time. Up there with Carlin, Seinfeld. Okay, I hated Seinfeld, but he contributed, as Louis would say.

Cucumbers v. grapes

Some monkeys began throwing cucumbers at the scientists because they know a bad deal when they see it.

Your Incredible Shrinking Brain

Made me laugh out loud, disturbing the three dogs, who are sleeping as I try to put myself back to sleep by visiting the internet at 3:30 a.m.

Digression, cast adrift on the buoyant Dead Sea of your own narrations, is a sign of old age, and remarked by ancient moralists and proven by modern neurology and brain science to be a symptom of natural decay of the aging brain, so let me conclude with one, which now that I consider it, is not really a digression at all, though this present clause surely is:

January 13, 2010: I am defending to a colleague the wisdom of the police rounding up the usual suspects.

Me: Claude Rains was being more than a mere cynic, which of course he was also being, when he said "round up the usual suspects" because the usual suspects were not innocent but the known criminals of whatever the city was, Tangiers, Marrakesh, I forget which.

Colleague: Casablanca.

Me: I am going to go shoot myself.