Saturday, March 7, 2015

Extreme Measures

Okay, so without further ado, we re-institute the long-abandoned (because Facebook, doncha know) Contrarienne, because some projects take a lot of space.
Feel free to comment either here or on the Facebook post regarding the entries, and also feel free to suggest new entries. 
Thank you

From: The Editor
To: Anyone who writes or says anything in English

Banned Until Further Notice or We Recover Our Senses, Whichever Comes First,  And You Can Guess How That Will Go

agency (human choice, will)
bucket list
epic (adj.)
empower, empowered
bitch (pronounced beee-ah-tch or variations thereof)
blessed, blessing
magic, magical
miracle, miraculous
brand, branding
passion, passionate
powerful, powerful energy
girlfriend as a term of address as in "You go, girlfriend." Sometimes accompanied by palm slapping. If so, grounds for immediate — and indefinite — detention at the high school nearest you, where you will be forced to do your algebra homework.
tribe, tribal, tribalism
leverage, leveraging--for anything except financial transactions involving millions of dollars
cellular, at a cellular level--meaning deeply
louche (repeated for emphasis, nah, I just forgot it was on here)
baked in (is the new black, ed.)
Acceptable So Far, But Check All Future Updates

Big Placebo
positional good (good as in item or product, i.e. manufactured goods)
category error
dudebro (Sprinkle frequently whenever, er, appropriate. It will soon graduate to the Banned list and be lost to us forever and I, for one, will miss it.)
conscience of the uninformed
wetware --biological thought mechanism (brain) as contrasted with hardware and software, both technological thought mechanisms (see meatspace)
adaptative mating
Big Data
singularity (likely the first to graduate to Banned list. Maybe it already has but the memo is lost.)
CPM (cost-per-mile, advertising term, really cost per thousand advertising impressions) (Special-case exemption due to professional interest on the general ban of all abbreviations, including acronyms. All right, all right, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae still okay.)
click bait (Careful now.)
hipnecks, headnecks 
 (hippie-like pot farmers in Humboldt County, CA) An up-and-comer, sure to spread to Colorado and Washington state.
anecdata--personal anecdote employed as confirming information for a scientific or political or sociological assertion
male gaze, female gaze
meatspace -- physical reality, as contrasted with online, virtual reality (see wetware)
ammosexuals--pejorative term for gun rights advocates who like to parade their arms in public, frightening patrons at Target and Taco Bell (coined by Bill Maher or his writers)
transgressive, transgression--needed, but let's be miserly in its use
spoiler alert (wait, isn't that on the banned list, what's up with that?)
trigger warning (under review)
affinity fraud--(Krugman)people are most easily conned when they’re getting their disinformation from someone who seems to be part of their tribe (see Bernie Madoff or any Republican politician or Fox news talking blonde)

I Know I Should Let Go, But I'm In Love

delusional--anyone who disagrees with me and tries to offer a "reason"
"scare quotes"
special snowflake (emphasis on flake)

Warning: We embrace the following sentence and will employ it as a nuclear weapon, meaning your puny ego will melt into glass.

"Anecdote is not data." 

(As in, "my cousin's boyfriend's sister tried it and it cured her breast cancer." No. Uh-uh. Or, better, "I tried it and it made me feel better." I'm glad you're feeling better, but no one should ever try a) coffee enemas b) any purge c) any cleanse d) any raw food that tastes nasty even when cooked, sweetened and slathered in butter, cream and/or wine. I'm sorry you're paranoid schizophrenic/borderline/dual diagnosis/bipolar/adult child and I respect you and your suffering, not the delusions that accompany it. See placebo effect.